April 1 -- The Franciscan Brothers, fed up with the low moral standards and poor work ethic of present-day students, are in talks to break away from the College.

The making out culture at SFC and the institutionalized goofing off have convinced the Brothers that their reputation could be damaged by their association with the school.

"They are fed up with the road the college is going down and want nothing more to do with it," said a source close to the Brothers.

When Brothers were asked about this they declined to comment.

Their departure is expected be made official come the Fall semester.

One student, when asked if the school has low moral standards, stopped making out with his girlfriend for long enough to say 'no'.

This is a sad day for St. Francis College, as at the end of the year we will no longer get to see the smiling faces and somber habits of the Brother's most of us know and love.