WRITTEN BY ROMANE TERESOVICH

April 1 — Students at St. Francis College will tell you that the most popular course has to be Professor Cindy B. Weston’s Fundamentals of Speech class. The dreaded and mandatory course has become a favorite among the student body for obvious reasons.

“I find myself running to Professor Weston’s class,” said Amy Gillen, a sophomore at SFC. “She commands the room with her quiet intensity and natural grace as a public speaker.”

Professor Weston is certainly one of the most popular professors at the college. Once it’s time to register for classes, Weston’s one section of the course fills up in less than two minutes, even beating adjunct professor Mark McSherry’s ‘How to Write Love Letters to Musicians Like Sade’ class, according to the school’s admissions office.

Some students are still unsure what Professor Weston actually looks like.

“She has short brown hair and wears power suits everyday, just like Hillary Clinton,” said Drake O’Malley, a freshman at SFC. “No, no, man. You got it all wrong. Professor Weston has long blonde hair, and wears these thick glasses,” argued John Severino, a sophomore and Professor Weston’s favorite student and adopted son.

It seems like it’s unclear what Professor Weston looks like, or whether or not she exists at all. Some students claim that there is no such person teaching at St. Francis College.

SFC Junior, Mary Rizzo, swears she doesn’t exist. “My friend went into her class and I passed by the window to see if she [Weston] was there. All I saw was the entire classroom full of students taking extensive notes, paying close attention, and shaking their heads in agreement, but there was NO ONE THERE! At one point the whole class started laughing, as if she cracked a joke.”

Mary went on to say that even when class was over, some students were still paying close attention to the front of the room, as if listening to the professor telling them their assignment for next class.

Even though there are some non-believers, Professor Weston has a strong student following. “I don’t care what people say, Professor Weston is the best teacher I ever had. She helped with my stuttering problem. Now no one can get me to stop making speeches,” said Mark White, a junior and SFC winner of last spring’s cheese-eating contest.

Say what you will, Professor Weston has really left an impression on her students. In April, Professor Weston and her class plan on traveling to Arkansas to partake in the National Talk-A-Lot Contest.

SFC has a lot of faith in this year’s team, especially since Weston will be participating as well. “ I can’t wait to see Mrs. Weston do her thing,” said SFC transfer student and sophomore Susan Wong. “She’s amazing, she gets up there and is so comfortable and confident you hardly know she’s there.”

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